What would life be without friendship? Tuh, I don’t even want to imagine life as such. Friends make life experiences more enjoyable and relaxed. They are the relationships that help balance life and are needed to help us as humans grow. I’m lucky to have some best friends and some more mature, wiser woman in my life who define what it means to be life friends.
Dr. Adrienne Berry and Mrs. Cecka Rose Green are BFFWWF’s who I was able to meet through my best friend Avery- who happens to be her mother and Godmother. I met both ladies at a young age and quickly saw the type of friendship that they had and wanted that for me and my girls. It was real, it was consistent, it was fun, and most importantly it was supportive and in my eyes friendships like such are needed in our community- do you feel me?
I solicited some facts of friendship from these wonderful women to inspire our female friendships! I hope that black and brown woman alike can apply some of Adrienne’s and Cecka’s facts of friendship to their own friendships and keep them flourishing into life long relationships.
Enjoy the interview below!
What does BFFWWF stand for and how long have the two of you been friends?
BFFWWF stands for “Best Friends Forever World Wide Friends.”Cecka actually “coined” our phrase and it basically means we are besties forever no matter where in the world we are. We met the summer of 1985 as incoming Freshmen at Florida A&M University. Our very FIRST debate was about which sorority was better, AKA or Delta,neither of which either of us was a member. Adrienne comes from generations of AKAs and Cecka from Deltas. Needless to say, looking back on it is comical for us. Both of us eventually became members of “the best sorority in the world!” LOL!!!
With careers, families, and other life commitments how do you find the time to stay connected to one another the way that you do?
So, as Adrienne lives in Atlanta and Cecka lives in Tallahasssee, we speak by telephone each week day morning as we are dropping kids off at school and headed to work for the day. We also randomly talk throughout the day–usually as a result of either of us encounter something that triggers a memory or maybe a previous conversation or random thought–food, a song, a situation, or a place that reminds us of the friendship that we have. Sometimes is funny, other times poignant or serious. But, it is always a good conversation, even if it’s just a short one.
What would you say has been the best quality of your friendship?
As with any real relationship, HONESTY. We communicate honestly and openly and have an appreciation for our differences–for example, we are members of different sororities, but respect our choices and, most importantly, CELEBRATE each other’s accomplishments within those sororities and, quite frankly, in life. We’ve never believed that our thoughts and opinions had to mirror one another! We respect and embrace our similarities and differences!
What advice, if any would you give your 25-year-old self-regarding friendships?
Take more photos and create even more memories that are well-documented because the older you get, the more little details you tend to forget. Any one who knows Cecka, knows she has the memory of an elephant and she relishes in recounting the times we have had. Oh, the stories we have…the memories we have made. Boy, if camera phones were available back then, we would have so many photos. Then again, we may have gotten ourselves in trouble, too, so…never mind! LOL!!
How have you overcome disagreements within your friendship?
We try not to let the day end without a resolution. Doesn’t mean we will agree in the end, but we acknowledge that and end the day on a positive note. Life is too short and the older you get REAL friends are few and far between. Nothing is worth holding a grudge. We have been friends longer than both of us have been married. As they say in marriages, never go to bed angry. To same can hold true for your BFF. This sometimes means having a difficult conversation that we might not want to have; we are comfortable having them because we know that neither of us would purposely cause hurt, offend, or harm to the other.
In your opinion, how important is vacationing with your girlfriends?
Vacationing with girlfriends is absolutely IMPERATIVE. Our trips give us the opportunity to refuel and renew personally and return to our families recharged. The importance of our trips is that we are there to support one another in a judgment-free zone where we can laugh, cry, problem-solve, and support each other. It doesn’t have to be an expensive or lengthy trip–sometimes is just a quick weekend to a close location and other times, it’s a well-planned and budgeted excursion. The importance is that we are together and supporting and loving each other!
How has your friendship changed since you were younger?
Of course,we are older and our lives have changed drastically since the age of 18; therefore,the content of our conversations has expanded in alignment with our age and experiences. Then, it was about the happenings of college students. Now, it’s about world issues, government, parenting, family, and so many other issues that we encounter daily. The conversations are rich and help to move us through our lives.
What advice can you give to young women today who find themselves balancing life and friendships?
Friendships bring balance to your life and should NEVER be underestimated or devalued for the outlet that they provide as a healthycomplement to life’s reality! Make time for your friendships and prioritize in your life; determine which friendship bring significance to your life and foster them in a purposeful way. In other words, categorize the level of your friendships so that you don’t find yourself attempting to provide the same level of attention to your friendships equally, but instead you can attend to them based on their level of significance in your life.
Some friendships are for a reason…some for a season…some for a lifetime. Ours really is for a lifetime! #BFFWWF
I hope that Dr. Adrienne and Cecka’s facts of friendship has been of some inspiration and usefulness to your friendships. Remember to be honest within your friendships and celebrate one another!