This past Memorial Day Weekend had an unlikely ending. I was traveling back to D.C. from NYC, the city that always gives me a bittersweet kiss goodbye. I had started the weekend contemplating a major life decision, which was paying off a student loan! While in NYC I talked it over with friends, did the math, and decided to use the time spent traveling on the bus as thee time to make my decision. It started in prayer, which led to silence, which resulted in a nap, which resulted in me forgetting to make a decision upon waking up.
I returned to the District right before midnight on Monday, and all was well until I got to my car and it wouldn’t start. My car not starting was the last thing my tired mind and body wanted to deal with. Who was I going to call at midnight for a jump? Why does the D.C metro stop running so early (compared to the MTA in NY)? Why did this have to happen now? “Lord, please let it be the battery and nothing else.” Then it hit me like a ton of bricks- why was I so drained after a great weekend get away? Oh, I still hadn’t decided what I was going to do about this nagging student loan. At that moment, my car’s battery was my mind. The same thing had happened to both my mind and my car. Both were drained.
I had allowed my light to stay on all weekend without moving to a destination just as I had allowed the issue I had before traveling to NYC to linger without making a decision. I took what could have been a very stressful moment and grappled with the fact that I was being forced to stay still and make not one but now two decisions. It’s funny how life connections can make you realize your responsibilities and how God uses those moments to remind you to be faithful to yourself and God.
I was drained not dead. By allowing my anxiety of making a huge financial decision to linger it snowballed into a state of feeling deadlock on something I could have easily overcome. Never again. Take it from me, when faced with difficult decisions take them head on! Don’t wait until something else happens to force you into a decision, because the truth is, you probably already know the answer. It may feel weird, it may be uncomfortable, and you may even feel some residual emotions about it later, but at least you won’t be drained from running.