Drained Not Dead:How an Unlikely End to Memorial Day Weekend Led Me to Make a Decision

This past Memorial Day Weekend had an unlikely ending. I was traveling back to D.C. from NYC, the city that always gives me a bittersweet kiss goodbye. I had started the weekend contemplating a major life decision, which was paying off a student loan! While in NYC I talked it over with friends, did the math, and decided to use the time spent traveling on the bus as thee time to make my decision. It started in prayer, which led to silence, which resulted in a nap, which resulted in me forgetting to make a decision upon waking up.

Fast forward

I returned to the District right before midnight on Monday, and all was well until I got to my car and it wouldn’t start. My car not starting was the last thing my tired mind and body wanted to deal with. Who was I going to call at midnight for a jump? Why does the D.C metro stop running so early (compared to the MTA in NY)?  Why did this have to happen now? “Lord, please let it be the battery and nothing else.” Then it hit me like a ton of bricks- why was I so drained after a great weekend get away? Oh, I still hadn’t decided what I was going to do about this nagging student loan. At that moment, my car’s battery was my mind. The same thing had happened to both my mind and my car. Both were drained.

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Lady Please, Man Listen this is Spiritual Warfare

{Disclaimer: This is not at all an attack on anyone}

What this is, though, is spiritual warfare and a call to getting our spiritual lives on the right path. We are all in this together and I get it- you’re young having fun, meeting new people and living life on your own terms, but how do you feel? Are the things or people you are choosing to engage in or be around making you happy? What has your attention? All questions that I had to ask myself in order to get my spiritual priorities in check.

And let me just say, that I am not at all the “Perfect Christian” -and in spite of not having that label- I am Christian and I have always known Jesus! So I knew when I wasn’t in communion with him because my spirit became uncomfortable . Whether it was people, attention (or the lack there of) , actions, or thoughts the separation was noticeable, and Jesus is just one thing I’ll never be satisfied without, so some things had to change.

My environment for one had to change, so did my relationships, and my focus. I wasn’t interested in being in clubs to have a good time, I stopped answering phone calls and texts from people who I was just stomaching   and started focusing on my spirit and vision.

 Below I’ve listed 5 techniques I’m using to come and maintain spiritually fit.

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Relationships 1o1: 4 Tips for When the Honeymoon Phase is Over

Relationships!!!

Now, I’m no relationship expert, however, seeing as though I’m passionate and intentional about my relationships with people I  think I have some pretty good advice on this here topic and possibly on my way to being one :).

As a fairly new committed girlfriend, I must say, it’s not for the faint of heart- the state of “being” in love is hard work. When all the newness wears off and the honeymoon phase is over and you become frustrated by the smallest things, yet your love for that person is still burning consider using theses tips.  These 4 things have caught my heart, mind, and mouth from negative thoughts and words and kept me focused on the connection of love to the person and relationship when things have gotten real.

4 Tips for When the Honeymoon Phase is Over

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The Benefit of Speaking to the Right Stranger

Strangers: How Many Do you Know?

 

The cliche statements of, “don’t talk to strangers” and “stranger danger”  that every child hears growing up served no purpose for me on Monday night.  While I was traveling back to Brooklyn from one of my most annoying errands ever in the City {going to Wells Fargo} because for some reason Brooklynders don’t need a Wells Fargo, I met a man.

 

Now, I know what you all are thinking and no it’s not that! When I finally found a seat on the L train, this man dressed in a over-sized black suit decided to stand right in front of me and continued to read his newspaper.  I didn’t really pay him any mind,  yet his first line of communication to me was “you’re beautiful.” of course I replied back with a thank you, short smile, and very short eye contact, but it didn’t stop there. The man began sharing his life. His grandfather was a preacher and he wanted to be just like him; his grandfather dressed well and he wanted that too; he was attending seminary school in NYC and that’s when I KNEW he was placed in front of me on the train for a reason. Another confirmation over the purpose of my life. 

 

I’ve been running from my calling for a while now, for reasons that are mixed with self-doubt, apprehension, and fear of living a lonely life.  All inflicting thoughts that God has been patiently waiting for me to over come, and has shown me that just as he brought Stanley ( train man) in my life, he’ll bring others and I won’t be lonely. As humans, we are quick to dismiss people and take interactions lightly, yet I learned a valuable lesson that by listening and connecting with people you may just find peace with something. We are all on a journey and will encounter many different people- who’s to say that a stranger is to always be avoided?

Walk in your purpose and don’t be quick to dismiss people!

XOXO,

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Relationships: Having Faith to Find Love, Again!

I love you! I love this, I love that!  

Love is one of the most misinformed, misunderstood, misused word to ever exist in this society.  The “now” generation, as I like to call it, categorizes love to only matter if it can be bought or touched, but not felt. Love gets tangled in fear and doubt quite too often because of such stipulations, it’s like living on a verge of being hopeful and faithful. A uncomfortable feeling that one must overcome to actually bask in real love. 


Love is most genuine when it becomes recognizable in one’s life.


In my newest experience in love, one thing I know for sure is what love is not. It isn’t fleeting- it’s not something that can easily be evaporated. It’s irreplaceable. One of the reasons why heartbreak is real is due to the fact that commitment is real. Love is hard work, it’s not just a word you say to get what you want for someone, it’s a feeling that is evoke from being with and for that person. To think that couples who’ve been together for 40+ years, literally die, because one can’t live knowing they’ll never spend another day with him/her. Surely spending years of joy, hurt, starting families, career moves, risks, death, fear, doubt, or a moment in time with one other person hurts, especially when you know you’ll  never have them to share such a feeling with again. 

 I mentioned heartbreak over death, because that’s the goal, right? To fully commit and give yourself confidently  to another person is what we as humans seek and once we’ve had it, it’s a feeling that time could never be replaced.

So I said all that to say,  when you find love you’ll know! 

Well, what happens when that love doesn’t exist, you ask?

1.  Love gets tangled into misconstrued feelings and actions– “Well what can you do for me?” “What do I get?” “He brought me this, so he must love me.”

2. Love becomes selfish–  Both people involved are asking each other to be someone for them and that isn’t fair because they are asking for something they themselves can’t reflect. you can’t grow together if you’re only  pointing out the flaws in your partner. Look in the mirror. 

3.  Love becomes untrue-You have to be sure of who you are and know yourself before expecting someone else to be it for you. Bring something to the table.

Well, what’s the point of being fulfilled in a growing relationship?

The answer is Faith… For when the time comes for you to walk in life with the one designed for you- you’ll realize them. Because, heart breaks over broken hearts is not the end goal, nor is being misinformed, misunderstood, or misused in the way we weren’t  intended to love. 

{ Mark 11:22-24 }  

{22} “Have faith in God,” Jesus answered. {23} “Truly I tell you, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in their heart but believes that what they say will happen, it will be done for them. {24} Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.”


If you have faith in Jesus, know that whatever you’ve been praying for God has been preparing you for and that one day that heart ache you once felt will never be felt again. Because unlike the lust you once knew, God will show and will continue to show you real, unconditionally love. 

Don’t let your mister mister, keep you from your Mr. 

XOXO,

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