As an advocate for self-care, I must be honest with myself and my readers. I missed a step. An essential step. I missed a measure that has stained my self-care journey……….
I didn’t take the necessary steps to self-heal!
*S/o to my sisters who helped me get to this point of self-actualization. Love y’all!*
By avoiding the step to self-heal, I’ve put myself in danger of experiencing that hurt again. Therefore, before jumping into self-care regimens that bring me joy in the moment, I should have taken the time to be realistic with my emotions and figure out a way to heal, because the joyous moments fizzle when the emotional pains surface when triggered by something out of my control. Truthfully, no matter how much I smudge or how many times I play a Frankie Beverly & Maze track the pain is there marinating deeper into my mind, and my creative sensations have been repressed, it’s draining, to say the least, and it’s time to heal.
In all honesty, it has not been THE IDEAL self-care journey. While I love smudging, indulging in hours of good music and skin care it hasn’t been the most practical with the emotional trauma I’ve been carrying for a while.
“It takes our whole adulthood to get over our childhood.”
(so I’ve heard)
All 3 lead me to understand the power of forgiveness. I was wrong. What I said was hurtful. I didn’t understand the power of my words. I was mad at myself and the lingering horrible feeling eventually led me to apologize. As a believer, I know that forgiving a person is the right thing to do, I know that God is pleased with me when I do forgive, and I know God has forgiven me plenty of times for my shortcomings, but I never understood the power of forgiveness until it was required from someone I loved in order to rebuild trust.
For many, being forgiven is an act that many believers only expect in their private conversations with God. It’s an act of surrendering- surrendering to the grace of God and the ability to keep living knowing that God is still there, but what happens when that transcending spirit isn’t always what we experience in the world? We fail to operate in the essence that God has made us. Existing in the image of God means being able to forgive and ask for forgiveness when wrong. The two are inseparable. It took me understanding that both forgiving myself and receiving forgiveness from the other person in my situation was needed. I could not expect to live life forgiving people for various reasons without yielding in the act of asking for forgiveness myself.
This past Memorial Day Weekend had an unlikely ending. I was traveling back to D.C. from NYC, the city that always gives me a bittersweet kiss goodbye. I had started the weekend contemplating a major life decision, which was paying off a student loan! While in NYC I talked it over with friends, did the math, and decided to use the time spent traveling on the bus as thee time to make my decision. It started in prayer, which led to silence, which resulted in a nap, which resulted in me forgetting to make a decision upon waking up.
I returned to the District right before midnight on Monday, and all was well until I got to my car and it wouldn’t start. My car not starting was the last thing my tired mind and body wanted to deal with. Who was I going to call at midnight for a jump? Why does the D.C metro stop running so early (compared to the MTA in NY)? Why did this have to happen now? “Lord, please let it be the battery and nothing else.” Then it hit me like a ton of bricks- why was I so drained after a great weekend get away? Oh, I still hadn’t decided what I was going to do about this nagging student loan. At that moment, my car’s battery was my mind. The same thing had happened to both my mind and my car. Both were drained.
When we talk about self-care we are talking about self-love. Self-love is often communicated as “putting yourself first”, but what does that mean? What does that look like? How do I care for myself outside of eating healthy and bathing? As a young lady on my own journey, I have decided to be intentional on how I LOVE ME. Through countless hours of reading, spending time alone, and conversing with friends, I’ve come to the conclusion that there are many ways one can love her/his self. It boils down to 6 key factors (we’ll talk about the rest later), but today we are talking about self-care!
Self-Care is the foundation for any work that we do, and in order to sustain our minds, bodies, and souls we should engage in self-care regimens that rejuvenate us either daily, nightly, or weekly. Given the sometimes negative and draining society we live in, it’s important to put aside time to restore ourselves. In order to be the people needed for the spaces and lives, we occupy “ME TIME” is an essential part of life, yet so hard to make practical. That stops today! Recently, I’ve been doing something which I’ve coined #SelfCareSaturdays. Every Saturday I dedicate 2 hours to myself indulging in self-care activities that restore my mind, body, and soul. It has only been two months and by doing this I’ve noticed a great increase in attentiveness regarding “my happy” and how I can maintain it.
Listed below are 3 activities that have now turned into rituals for me and my hope is that by sharing my 3- YOU’LL be able to pinpoint yours and practically shower yourself in the care and love you deserve!
Continue reading to find out 3 ways I practice self-love through self-care.
Dear Millennial Professionals,
Let us pledge today to stop selling ourselves short!
I recently had two separate conversations with two friends, both millennial professionals who shared their current work frustrations. Noticing striking similarities of leaving to much on the table, I decided to share some of our millennial professional pitfalls and the lessons I learned about selling myself short. Trust me when I say, this is still a struggle for me and every day I’m being intentional about what it is I need and voicing that as I navigate being a millennial professional myself.
Millennial professionals, are passion driven and strive to be involved in work that fulfills our purpose, fuel our professional development, and sustains us financially, right? I believe that such a lifestyle is attainable, millennials just have to stop selling ourselves short by not being afraid to sit at the table, voice what we need, and decide whether or not it’s worth staying after fighting the good fight. I have listed 2 reasons I personally know has hindered millennials from flourishing professionally below, let me know if you agree or not.
2 reasons millennial professionals can’t secure what they need?